“To die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly. Death of one’s own free choice, death at the proper time, with a clear head and with joyfulness, consummated in the midst of children and witnesses so that an actual leave-taking is possible while he who is leaving is still there.”
It gives me peace knowing my dad lived a truly wonderful life. He appreciated every minute of it − and countless people appreciated him−as demonstrated by so many of you he loves here today to honor him. Every single thing he did was intended to help others in any way he could. It still amazes me that as giving and caring as he was to us, his family, he managed to treat all of his patients and really anyone who crossed his path, with the same attention, going out of his way to be of assistance. My whole life, I’ve been so proud to hear countless stories even from strangers about the supportive role my dad played in enriching their life. Patients turned 18, 19, even 33 and still called him and refused to go to another doctor. They even brought their kids to him. I now have to find another doctor who will bring Z-packs and flu shots and chicken soup to my door. He seemed to be everyone’s doctor. One time, I met a guy who after hearing my last name, exclaimed, “Your dad saw me naked! Well – when I was 4 – he was my pediatrician.”
My dad went to his patient’s birthdays, bar mitzvahs and really was an important part of many of their lives… and we gained lasting friendships because of this. He drew pictures to explain complicated medical terms in an easy-to-understand manner and always left patients with toys, and joke, and a smile. Little kids got the “What do you get when an elephant sits on a banana” jokes but graduated to R rated jokes as they got older. The adults got the elaborate stories he absolutely lights up when telling. I’ve learned that most stories he told ended up being jokes. When I’d hear him perk up and start to say, did you hear the one about the… I thought “yes” but usually let him tell it anyway.
He is the smartest person I’ve ever encountered or heard of. I used to think we were always watching previously recorded episodes of Jeopardy since he knew every answer, and was friends with Alex Trebec. At Sandy’s weekly Shabbat dinners, we sometimes played Trivial Pursuit. It was everyone against my dad – and he still won.
My dad loved to make people happy and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for us. From spending hours coloring in our physiology books, to drawing me maps for anywhere I needed to go (pre GPS), to skipping meals to bring us leftovers – even driving them to my apartment, to helping me move in a couch that didn’t fit and moving it out days later when I wanted another one. I have memories of renting countless Netflix movies together, watching the Bachelor and American Idol, him introducing me to countless people, family birthday dinners at the Palm, and the hilarious Passover Seders he led after my grandpa passed.
I could always relate to him. I was definitely a daddy’s girl. He always gave me realistic advice that I truly appreciated. He was nice to every guy I brought to the house, Jewish or not – never judging. He made sure we were cultured – he took my brothers and I to musicals, annual family road trips, museums, you name it. Because of him, we had opportunities to experience everything we could possibly want in life and learned what’s truly important. He worked hard to give us everything and never asked for a thing in return or complained. It wasn’t about providing monetary things, it was about imparting experiences, support, respect and love with the best of intentions. I am the luckiest daughter in the world to have had my dad in my life and I only hope that I carry on some of his attributes to make a difference in the lives of others.
I never got to meet my dad’s father as he died before I was born. It deeply saddens me that he will never know my children. But they will know him as I’ll tell them great stories and I welcome your stories for me to pass on for generations to come. Albert Einstein once said,
“Our death is not an end if we can live on in our children and the younger generation.”
His legacy will live on through everyone who knew him – his family, his friends, his patients, and all those whose lives he has touched. I hope for having known him, people will be a little kinder, appreciative, thoughtful, selfless, patient, accepting, giving, and laugh a little more. Dad, thank you for everything. I will always love you.
Debra's Daily Dose 
Dear Debra,
I just found out today of your fathers passing. We were so shocked and saddened he was everything you described and more. Both my sons were patients of the his and of course they adored him and looked forward to his checkups and especially the jokes after! He would make us all laugh and feel so good. My sons 19 and 17 will never forget their wonderful pediatrician. Whenever we asked about his family you could see the love and admiration in his eyes. He never made us feel rushed and was always so patient when my older son would ask his 5 times in a row how tall he was going to be! Your father will always live in our fond memories and we will never forget him.
We send our love and strength to you and your family during this difficult time.
Warm Regards,
Sybella, Alex and David Derval
Hi Sybella,
I appreciate your kind words and know my father would too. We were spoiled beyond belief with love and patience and caring. He will be dearly missed by so many.
Debra
Dear Debra,
I’m so glad I found your blog and to read such a wonderful eulogy to your dad. My older son was a patient of your dad’s as well as my younger son who still was. Your dad will always be a hero to me as he cared for my younger son who was born three and a half months premature. With your dad visiting Jake in the hospital everyday, I knew Jake was in good hands and that he would make it. Jake is 13 now and we just saw your dad last September. I knew then he wasn’t well but prayed in my heart that he would recover. I feel as though I know you and your family as I made a point of looking at the family picture that your dad so proudly displayed on his desk. I would often tell him how beautiful you all are and he would tell me how well you were all doing. We never felt rushed with him and he always listened to all concerns. We are deeply saddened by the loss of our beloved Dr. Pivko. Our love and prayers go out to the Pivko family.
Warmest regards,
Laura, David, Zak & Jake Holman
Dear Debra,
This evening my daughter is at Cedar’s, we think its her apendix. She was with your dad for 17 years. My wife was just called me to tell me of your fathers passing. Our 2 sons were also cared for by your father. My wife drove over an hour and a half each time for one of the kids appointments. It was soooo worth it. She would always come home with a few jokes. We would laugh and I would try to remember them to repeat. Seldom in my life have we met someone who was so genuine and sincere. Your father also took the necessary time to explain anything to us with the kids. He would even draw us medical pictures, many of which we still have. He was so gifted at explaining things for us to understand. My wife and I would also chuckle about his car and ALL the stuff he had in there ( and his office too). I also learned from your father how to better explain things to people, how to take my time and how to “draw” pictures in my discussions. I am sad to hear of his passing and my wife, my kids and I want to let you know your Dad was a great Doctor, a wonderful spirited person and he will be missed. Michael and Maryanne Cirrito, Michelle(17), David (13) and Nicholas (10).
Debra, My son was a patient of your father’s and we just wanted to write to let you and your family know that he will be missed greatly. I always considered him a bit “old school” and that is why we loved him so much. He is the only doctor that we have ever been to that would simply check my throat, ears, or whatever we happened to be visiting for, right along with my son’s to avoid us both being ill. “Okay Mom, let’s check your throat now” he would say and as usual, he called us into his office afterwards to share jokes with my son and I. We will surely miss his charm and wit and gentle ways. So, although we did not ever have the pleasure of meeting any of your family, please know that you all are in our thoughts and that we will never forget what a wonderful guy your dad was.
Best Regards and on a lighter note, love your website!
Jason and Laura Kontomitras
P.S. My son, Jason, suggest you publish his joke book! Can’t imagine that clever jokes inside of it!
Dear Debra, I was shocked to read of your father’s death in the Jewish Journal. You don’t know me and I don’t know you, but I knew your father well before he was a doctor. I was a witness to when he was campaigning for a student body office at Louis Pasteur Junior high. He won the hearts of many of his fellow students with his humorous campaign speeches. The next time he ran for office at the school, he said that he would forgo a humorous campaign in deference for the office he was running for. I believe it was for student body president. I was disapointed that he didn’t win. I met him a few times after our schooling ended, and I was surprised that whenever we ran into each other, he initiated a pleasant conversation with me as if he knew me, even though I never did have personal contact with him before. I found out, to my surprise, that my father and Jack’s father knew each other. Many years ago, my father who has been deceased for 14 years, after a conversation with Jack’s father, used Jack’s choice of profession to inspire me. He told me that Jack’s father, your grandfather, inspired him to choose a profession that does not require punching a time clock. Looks like Jack make a great choice. If you would like to hear more, feel free to reply so I can tell you more. My name is Allan and my email is langman543@gmail.com.
Your Dad made the few crazy, scary months of being a new parent much easier. Our son Julian (age 5) always looked forward to seeing his Dr. because he know he would get a smile, a “doctor sticker” and a chance to play with the lava lamp hour glass on his desk. My husband and I always knew we could count on Sheri(to tell us we were late) Marci (to make us laugh) and your dad to patiently tell us-for the umpteenth time-that Julian was completely healthy. We just found out about your Dad’s passing yesterday and I wanted to share how lucky we felt to know him and be guided by him. Thank you. Love, Jesyca, David and Julian Schnepp
Hi Jesyca – thank you so much for your kind words.
My daughter and I just found out about your dad. He was Jessica’s doctor until she turned 18 when he told her she would have to now go to an adult doctor. She was crushed – she loved him so much. She is now 25 and still talks about him. She told me today, through her tears, about his passing. He was truly a great doctor!
Hi Debra, I just found this blog and am so so sorry to hear of your father’s passing. He was a such a wonderful man and such a great doctor. He was our son’s pediatrician from birth (our son is now a strapping 15 year old) and helped us so much through those bewildering first years! He was always so kind and so patient, even when I called once at 3 a.m. when the baby was about 5 days old and I was in a panic because he was “so feverish he is covered in sweat” and of course, he only had a leaky diaper. He always had a ready joke and a smile, and truly cared. We are all so sorry to hear about his passing, and feel grateful to have known such a lovely man.
Hello Debra, I just found your blog and wanted to express my deep condolences. Your father – Dr. Jack Pivko (pediatrician of both of my kids) was a great family man, a great physician, a great humanitarian and a great Jew. It was shocking for us to find out that he passed away. Indeed, he shared his heart and kindness, knowledge and wisdom, smile and beauty with thousands of little patients and their families. He saw generations grow and it is so unfair to lose such a wonderful person at such a young age. We will always remember him.
PS. He used to say that if kids do not cry when they see him, they need to see another doctor – psychiatrist.
Hello Debra, I just came across your picture on FB at Stephanie’s baby shower. My daughter -in law Lisa was in the same picture, what a small world. I immediately thought that you must be Dr. Pivko’s daughter, and after I Goggled your name I came across this beautiful tribute you wrote to your father. I’m in shock.
In 1979 we came to LA from Russia and in 1980 after my daughter was born ( I believe you and my daughter were born on the same day, or almost on the same day, June 25) both of my children came to see your father for the first time. Both of my children stayed with him until age 18. My son is 40 now, and my daughter is 32. I was one of the first Russian mothers who came to your fathers practice, I was working at Cedars Towers and was given a referral to him right after he moved his practice to the 3rd street . He called me his Russian liaison, I always referred people to him, because he was THE BEST. I’m so sad to know that he’s no longer with us. We still talk about him every once in a while. I will tell my children about Dr. Pivko’s passing and I know they will be very sad. All the best to you and your wonderful family.
Would love to hear from you.